A friend emailed that he was “plexing” about not being able to find work, and maybe because I knew him in Oregon, it brought to mind an outing I had in Eugene in the early seventies.
I had the day off, and the weather looked like possible rain, so I put on rain gear and walked across the Willamette River to Alton Baker Park. I was living in an apartment near the University of Oregon campus, and a few blocks away was a footbridge that crossed the river to give students easy access to the stadium on the other side–and the park. The park was little used because it was somewhat isolated by the river, and was one of my favorite hang-outs. If the weather got serious, I wasn’t far from home.
I was stoned–usual in those days–and had been thinking I’d like to take a hit of acid if there was any chance the weather was going to clear, so I was keeping an eye on the sky. About mid-morning there were patches of blue showing, so I decided to go for it, and hot-footed back home to get supplies.
I got a little over-confident, perhaps, and decided to eat a hit at the apartment and walk the six-plus miles to Spencer Butte Park, on the south side of Eugene. I figured that by the time I got to the top of the Butte, I would be peaking pretty good. I was still in rain gear, just in case.
My weather prediction turned out to be erroneous, and at the top of the Butte I found clouds and a hearty drizzle. Luckily, I also found an over-hanging boulder I could sit under fairly comfortably out of the rain, and settled in to wait it out.
Having been a rock and roll singer in a small band in college, I had acquired the habit of learning the lyrics of songs I liked, especially ones that were melodic and fun to sing a cappella. I proceeded to entertain myself with my large repertoire of Jackson Browne songs, pausing occasionally to smoke a joint and have a snack.
As the day and the weather wore on, with no sign of change, I began to get depressed–not a fun thing on LSD. I contemplated all the things that were wrong in my life, which if you’re depressed, can be a lengthy list. After spending some time in this vein, suicide started to seem preferable to struggling on, but as I was thinking of possible ways of ending it all, an interesting alternative came up: since I was going to die anyway, why not rob a bank and fly to Tahiti until they found me. I might die in the attempt, but what the heck, I was thinking I wanted to die; why not die in a hail of bullets?
That strange thought started a new train of associations. It occurred to me that the reasons my life seemed so shitty involved the fact that I had limited the range of options open to consideration. No one was forcing me to live in Eugene–I could live anywhere; the possibilities were endless…
It may have been that experience on the Butte that led to my purchase of a used Dodge window van and setting it up for travel–I’m not sure–but sometime later I did just that. I drove down the coast of California and across the southern US to Florida, spent some time with my family, and drove back, looking for alternative places to live.
That van moved me to Sparks, Nevada, since I could always hold a job on the railroad there with my seniority, but less than six weeks later, I discovered I could work in Oakland, California, too, and it was already Spring there, so that’s where it took me. Then it moved me to San Francisco, and I drove it back and forth across the bay until a guy opened the door to get out of a parked car and crinkled the right front corner.
By then, that very friend from Oregon whose plexing I reported in the first sentence of this post, was working as a car salesman in San Francisco, and convinced me to trade in the van for a Ford Fiesta.
Our lives have gone very divergent paths since then, but a few weeks ago he was in the “Bay Enema,” as he calls it, looking for work, and called me up. I can’t find a job for him, but I can suggest that he might broaden the list of options he’s willing to consider.
There are always alternatives…
Which Way?
Strange, I didn’t know you told me to broaden my options, just must of missed it…..any ideas on how to do that??…yrab fondobi….