Posts Tagged ‘Buddhism’

Let’s Get Real

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

Originally posted on 05-18-07:

When I was 17, I read a book by Philip Wylie that changed my life. Why an adolescent would be attracted to a book named, “An Essay on Morals,” is a little mysterious, and how such a book came to be available to me in a small Southern town is equally strange. Recently I bought a copy and re-read it, and was gratified to find how relevant it still was, and how the intervening years experience allowed me to appreciate so much that at the time escaped me.

A tidbit: “The educated American who turns from religion does so not because of the Marxian discovery that it has been used as opium for the people through millenniums of serfdom, but because he has gained knowledge of the origin of his species and, with that knowledge, some comprehension of how all religion came into being, how it evolved, by what historic psychological processes it reached its present many forms. He sees that its ritual is sprung from savages, its doctrine from medieval debate, and the dogma of its sects, frequently, from the mere bumptious disagreement of neighbors.”

While he had in mind Western religion particularly, the same is true of Eastern religion, but I think Eastern religion has the advantage of being less about deism and more about exploration of the mind. If you can see through the overlay of archaic concepts, there is some useful information underneath.

In that Fall, 2006 issue of Tricycle—again—there is an article called “Nirvana: Three Takes,” which illustrates how the teachings of one guy can diverge over 2500 years and several cultures, and how difficult it can be to sort through the clutter for useful information.

Gil Fronsdal, speaking from the Theravadan tradition, makes the point that happiness, freedom and peace are not dependent on external conditions.

Tulku Thubten Rinpoche, from the Tibetan, wants us to know that love, wisdom, and ecstasy are available.

Roko Sherry Chayat, from Zen, says that we’re already there if we just stop striving intellectually, sit down, and stop the chatter in our heads.

All that is too much to sort through in one post, but I’ll spend a little time on “impermanence,” a key concept in the Theravadan approach, since I alluded to it yesterday. As the Theravadans see it, if we can realize the impermanence of everything, it will help clear the way to the end of clinging to our desires, which prevents our experiencing nirvana.

Once I went up to the teacher after a dharma talk on impermanence and noted that for the last few days, every time I looked out there were daffodils growing beside the driveway. “Not the same daffodils,” he snapped, to which I responded, “Maybe, but they haven’t become roses, either.”

Of course, everything is ultimately impermanent—the sun will someday go supernova, and life as we know it on this planet will be over—but as I mentioned yesterday, there is some continuity in our everyday lives. We don’t have to re-learn our native language every day, for one thing, so to say, “everything is impermanent, you can’t step in the same river twice, etc.,” are true, but rather useless in understanding the ordinary reality of our situation.

I think it is more helpful to realize the degree to which the various aspects of our lives are impermanent. Some things last longer than others, and the real problems that this variable impermanence creates arise from our wanting things to last beyond their normal span, or in dealing with them as if they were longer-lived than they actually are. It is our disconnection from the reality of things and the resulting reification of our fantasies that bring unhappiness and discontent. (Sound familiar?)

It is more demanding than memorizing a “sacred truth,” but one of the requirements for happiness is to take note when our fantasies diverge from reality.

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This View Will Not Last Forever

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Love, Love, Love

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

Originally posted on 05-16-07:

At some point I’ll talk about the importance of daily routines, but for now I’ll just note that I read something every morning to remind me of the nature of reality as I understand it. These days I’m slowly making my way through the Fall, 2006 issue of Tricycle, as some may have guessed, and the subject of today is an article by Dara Mayers called, “Love Divine.” It’s about an Indian Hindu guru affectionately known as Amma, the hugging guru. The author’s main point is that Amma makes anyone she hugs, or who is even in her presence, feel loved. That is her gift, the source of her attraction.

Anytime the subject of love comes up, I think of oxytocin, Oxytocin a hormone and neurotransmitter. The linked article covers it pretty well, and I’ve already talked about it at length in the podcast, Bare Brains Episode One. I’m sure oxytocin is involved in peoples’ experiences with Amma, but what I want to talk about now is the great attraction of being loved.

I think that the evolutionary value of the experience of love is as social cement: it binds parents to children and vice versa, spouses to each other, and members to groups. Emotional connection is much more powerful than rational connection, and predates the ability of organisms—namely us—to be rational, to reason with language. So I think there is a strong biological base for the emotion of love, and when we are experiencing it, we are in the grips of our physiology—hormones, neurotransmitters.

Integral with the role of love as social cement is a corresponding need to feel “cemented.” In the article, Dara Mayers poignantly communicates her personal yearning for the feeling of connectedness that love brings, and I certainly felt the lack of connectedness in my younger days—it is not pleasant. In fact, the Buddha would lump it in with the many other forms of suffering.

Two things, at least, have helped to free me from that yearning and from many other forms of suffering. One is that the feeling of love is pretty much content free, meaning it has little or nothing to do with any personal features of either of the parties involved. Knowledge of personal features only comes with lengthy, intimate exposure to another person, and often—in the case of spouses particularly—the feeling of love often gets overridden by familiarity with another persons habits, hygiene, preferences, and values.

What happens between lovers would probably happen with Amma and any of her followers in the unlikely event of prolonged intimate contact. Many who have become intimate with gurus have found them quite human in everyday life, with a goodly measure of human foibles.

The point, then, is that the emotion of love produces a feeling of valuing the other person and being valued by them that doesn’t often stand the test of time. Our value, our worth as a human being, is on shaky ground if depends on the opinion of another person. There’s an old Chinese saying: “If you can’t do it for yourself, who can do it for you?” How to do it for yourself is a big subject, which hopefully will be covered as we move along.

The other realization that has helped me tremendously is that the feeling of loving and being loved exists as a particular state of chemical/neuronal activity in the brain. It doesn’t matter what external stimulus provokes it—Amma or your high school sweetheart—it’s the same brain state in either case. If you can get your finger on the button, you can produce the emotion of love on call, which I’m fairly sure Amma has mastered: You can’t project that feeling to another human being unless you have it yourself—we’re too good at reading subtle social cues, at least most of the time.

How to find the button? Understanding the science helps, but ultimately you have to practice intimacy with your brain–meditation–for which I recommend David Harp’s “The New Three-Minute Meditator,” although there are other, equally non-religious guides.

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This Bug Loves This Flower

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